


Seriously? Again?

by Paninini



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Babies, Ed being weirdly calm, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Humor, No beta we post like men, Pregnancy, Winry freaking out, in my headcanon they have so many babies, rated T for some swears, they're in a weird timeline with accurate home pregnancy tests but no reliable birth control
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29513190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paninini/pseuds/Paninini
Summary: Winry's pregnant. Again. This is getting out of hand.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Winry Rockbell
Comments: 6
Kudos: 35





	Seriously? Again?

“Edward! Get in here.” Winry yells.

Ed nearly drops the spoonful of baby food he’s holding. That’s not the kind of thing he likes to hear so early in the morning.

“Uh oh, Dad’s in trouble” Will says, not looking up from his breakfast.

Ed gives his son a look. The twins were eleven now and starting to get way too comfortable giving him crap.

“I’m not in trouble” he says dryly. But he knew that tone. He absolutely was in trouble. “I’m just going to go speak to your mother. Keep an eye on your sister.”

“Dad’s in trouble” Ben agrees. Ed chooses to walk away.

He makes his way to the upstairs bathroom racking his brain for anything he might have done in the last couple of days, but he’s coming up empty. And now he’s at the door. He takes a deep breath and opens it.

“What’s up?” he asks warily.

“What the _hell_ is _this?”_ She asks him. Her hand on her hip, and a scowl on her face, as she holds up a little plastic stick.

“Uhh” Ed buys some time as he closes the door behind him. “A pregnancy test?” he answers. He looks closer. “A positive pregnancy test?” he adds with genuine surprise.

Oh.

“Yes. Ed. A _positive_ pregnancy test.” She huffs and sits on the toilet lid.

“And this is not good news?”

“No!” a beat, “Well, yes. Of course it is. But,” a frustrated sigh, “come on Ed, nine?! Nine children. We are going to have _nine_ children.”

Ed laughs. Which is clearly not the thing to do right then. She glares.

“I thought we’d be done after Abigail.”

“Okay, but- “

“And then Maggie happened and I thought, sure, one more, that’s six, that’s plenty. But then there was Theo, and okay we’re pushing it now, but seven’s not so bad, we can manage seven. But suddenly I was pregnant _again_ and I thought for sure, _for sure_ , the eighth has got to be the last one, right? But no. It keeps happening. And you know I love our kids, Ed, every one of them, but, Oh my god. Nine. Nine children Edward. _Nine.”_

“Okay,” he says, taking her by the shoulders “it’s a lot.“ He’s trying to be calming, and she takes a few breaths, and at least she’s done rambling. But she’s clearly not done being mad at him.

She pushes his hands away and stands up suddenly. “Do you know Al and Mei?”

The question catches him off guard. “Do I know Al and –? Yes, I’m familiar with them.” Ed says, not sure where she’s going with this.

“They had two. Two. And then done. No more.”

“Yeah…”

“Doesn’t nine just seem,” she searches for a word, “excessive?”

“I think we can handle it.” Ed says while Winry huffs and starts pacing. She’s quiet for a minute while she chews a nail and Ed scrambles to half-sit on the sink, trying to keep out of her way.

“Besides, how is this even possible?!” She’s shouting again and throwing her hands around like she doesn’t know what to do with them. “Henry is only four months old. Four! How can a human body even _survive_ that again so soon?”

“It’s not unheard of.” Ed mumbles, trying to avoid getting smacked.

A thought occurs to her and she stops suddenly, staring him down. “How many Ed?”

“What?” That look in her eye isn’t messing around.

“How many kids,” she says slowly, “do you want?”

He pauses a moment thinking it’s maybe a little too late to be having this conversation, “Well, at least nine…”

“At least?! At _least_?! Oh my god! At what point are two people considered ridiculously fertile?” she sumps down on the toilet again, head in hands, and Ed thinks he sees tears welling up.

He thinks about trying to hug her, but that could be mistake, so he asks a question (which could also be a mistake, but he’s got to do something). “Do you want to stop having sex with me?” He says very matter of fact-ly.

Winry looks up from her hands. She doesn’t look happy, but she also doesn’t look like she’s about to cry anymore either so Ed’ll take it. “Do I want to-? No. Of course not.” Her expression seems to add “you idiot”.

“Well then we’re just gonna have to go with it.” He says casually.

She fumes. It was a mistake.

“Go with it? Let’s see you ‘go with it’ when _you’re_ running around after a dozen kids with a watermelon in your gut! Or, better yet, pushing that watermelon out _your_ crotch!”

Ed winces. She has a point. “Okay,” he sighs and takes a different approach. “Winry do you remember when we got married?”

“Vaguely.” She says, crossing her arms skeptically. It was more than 15 years ago now.

“We had this same conversation then, right?”

She nods, softening as she remembers.

“And do you remember what we said?”

Winry takes a deep breath and nods again. “We can’t plan these things; we just have to see what happens.” She grumbles. Ed pulls her into a hug and they stay there for a moment while Winry breathes.

“But seriously Ed. Nine. I never thought we’d end up with _nine_.”

“Me neither, but I’m glad we did. ‘Casue you’re a great mom. And I’d hate to see that go to waste on any less than nine kids.”

“Oh my god, Ed, don’t get all sappy all of a sudden.” She sniffs a bit and wipes an eye. And here Ed thought he dodged the crying. 

“Aww shit. Are these the hormones already?”

“You should really be used to it by now, you know, we’ve done this enough.”


End file.
